For My Friend Jeanne!

Jeanne, this post is especially for you.  I figure you might appreciate this AND, it might make you laugh.

If there is something that would terrify me,  I guess it might be losing consciousness.  I imagine it has to do with not wanting to miss out on anything in life. Soooo…

When I was 27,  I decided I wanted to have my teeth straightened.  Our dentist had been studying some orthodontic practices earlier in my life and when I was 15, he “installed” braces.  Long story short, the man was too kind!  He obviously never exerted enough pressure to fix my teeth.  The reason why I wanted braces really was not a vanity issue…One of my two front teeth stuck out, making me look as though I was sneering.  Not only was the tooth out of line, but it was discolored an ugly brown.

In order to place a crown on the tooth,  I needed to have braces to correct the alignment.  Before I could have braces, however, I needed to have the dreaded oral surgery. I, it seems, was blessed with only three wisdom teeth.  But.  The three wisdom teeth were all impacted.  Lucky me.

At the time, I weighed a whopping 105 pounds and the oral surgeon told me I needed to gain some weight before he would do the surgery.  Well, whatever.  I went in one chilly late August morning to have the “procedure” done.  The surgeon suggested that I have it  done in the hospital, complete with anesthesiologist in attendence.  Well, I argued that there was no way I wanted to be put to sleep.  I insisted I wanted to be awake during the surgery.  Not so sure if the surgeon thought I was totally bonkers or not, but he finally agreed.

I hopped up onto the cold metal table and immediately began to shiver.  I mean, uncontrollably shiver!  One of the nurses left the room and came back with a large blanket which was wrapped snuggly around me.  Ahh…much, much better!  A large rubber block was placed inside my mouth as the surgeon commented that there really was not very much room to work inside my mouth.

Finally feeling somewhat relaxed,  I  closed my eyes and thought about pleasantries to not concentrate on the surgery.  Suddenly, *it* hit.  Knowing that I had to let the doctor know quickly,  I made faces, mainly knitting my eyebrows together and frowning.  The nurse looked down on me and asked if I was all right.  I nooded my head yes,  and tried my best to convey to her I had to use the restroom!  She bent low and looked me in the eye.  “You have to go to the bathroom?”  I nodded my head and grunted “Uh huh” through the big black blob of rubber wedged in my mouth.

My mummy wrap was removed and the nurse gently guided me down off the table with my feet planted on the floor.  She grabbed my elbow tightly and lead me to the restroom.  For one moment,  I was fearful she was going to come inside the bathroom with me!   I quickly went to the bathroom, washed my hands, then looked at myself in the mirror above the sink….What a mess I looked!

I was so relieved when the nurse was nowhere in sight when I came out of the bathroom.  I gingerly walked back to the “operating table”, swinging myself back up and lying down, now feeling much better!  The doctor returned to assume his position and the nurse wrapped me all up in the blanket once again.

As the doctor was about to resume his work,  he bent over me, laughing.  He assured me that in all his years of experience, he had never, ever  had a patient get up and leave in the middle of his work before! He continued on.  I cannot remember how long the whole process took, but I do remember him telling me I was “one tough cookie”.

The cookie went home and crumbled!  I slept for a day and looked like one very bruised Chiquita for a few days!  In fact, when I ate a couple of days after the surgery, I got some food in one of the wounds.  I had to go to the drugstore to pick up an antibiotic and the woman there told me she was greatly relieved when I told her I had had oral surgery…she thought I had been in a fight!!!

Hope this puts a smile on your face, Jeanne!  Rest and follow the doctor’s orders!!!!

5 Responses

  1. Oh my! What a story. While sympathy of course for all you went through, the image of you upping to the toilet, sorry bathroom as you piolite American say, unlike us! 🙂 , in the middle of the surgery had me laugh. Oh my.

    My best wishes to your friend Jeanne for her well-being and recovery.

    What is a “chiquita”, btw: a new word to me?

  2. Oh my! What a story. While feeling for you of course, In must confess I roared with laughter as you got up mid-surgery and made your way to the toilet — sorry, bathroom as you polite Americans say. 🙂 Thank you for sharing.

    I hope your friend Jeanne recovers well.

  3. Yes! Kae, it DID put a smile on my face…although, at the moment the face isn’t too capable of smiling! I had a blanket too! But, I don’t remember anything after they put the IV drip in my arm! You are funny Kae! I am trying my best to stay in bed resting, but to be honest, I feel awful and don’t even feel like getting up. Thank you so much!

  4. hehehe….Ian, I was referring to a Chiquita banana! Yes, years ago, most bananas in the US had a little “Chiquita” sticker on them.

    Now, for your continued entertainment, here is the ORIGINAL Chiquita Banana commercial!!!

    Who says you can’t learn new things on my blog? heheheh

  5. Thank you; I feel very informed. And I’ll be humming it all day…”I’m Chiquita banana and I’m here to say…” 🙂

    And sorry for the odd sort-of double-post — not sure what happened there!

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